Stranger Than Fiction

Sometimes there have been strange twists of events in my life when I thought things would go really differently. I can't tell you how many times I have incredulously said: "You can't make this stuff up." Sometimes things have gone better, sometimes unbelievably different, and sometimes tragically worse.

Sometimes I ended up doing the very thing I swore I would never do. For example, I swore up and down I would never go to what I called a "fake church". I went once with a friend and swore I'd never go back. I felt uncomfortable from the moment I walked in. I picked the sermon apart and found all kinds of biblical errors. My friend said the pastor was having an off day, but for me that was enough to make me never want to return. Then, strangely enough, I had a Job experience and my whole perspective on life changed. I became more open to things that I previously wasn't. I desperately needed community, so guess where I ended up going to church? I went to that church again with other friends and to my surprise I actually liked it. When I stopped judging and went in with an open mind, I ended up seeing the good and appreciating it. I attended that church for quite some time. In the end I needed a church with a little more meatiness to it but I have nothing bad to say about it to this day. Life is funny like that. To quote the Princess Bride: "The Lord works in mysterious ways." Don't tell God what you won't do because that's probably what you will end up doing- and strangely enough, you will like it.

God also shows us what to do through strange events and occurrences. Recently I was trying to decide whether to keep a rented water cooler. It was getting really expensive for the water delivery. The cooler began leaking one day so I called the company to replace it. The delivery person came at 7:22 AM. He didn't knock and scared the living daylights out of me when the dog started barking. I looked out the window and thought it was a burglar. He didn't set it up like he was supposed to. (He was scared of our German Shepherd, perhaps?) He left my husband and I to set it up ourselves. I couldn't snap the plastic pieces in and they kept falling out. It also looked broken in some places, like it had been tossed around in the back of the truck. I plugged it in and put the water in. The cold water worked fine but when I went to use the hot water nothing came out. So I tried it again...nothing. Then I smelled smoke. The back of the water cooler started smoking profusely. I quickly unplugged it but it kept smoking heavily for another 10 minutes. Our whole house smelled like an electrical fire. You can't make this stuff up. Okay God, I get it. It's time to get rid of the water cooler.

As life goes on we encounter what I like to call a "truer true". What we once thought of as being true becomes expanded upon, and therefore a truer true. The truth that we knew before may not necessarily be untrue, but there is often more to it. There is a whole other world of knowledge that we have not yet encountered. We have barely scratched the surface. What we know is like the algae floating on top of God's ocean of knowledge. We know the basics, but there is no way we can possibly imagine all there is. I believe there are some things that if we knew them it would probably make our minds explode. They say we only use 10% of our brains and there is another 90% that we are not using. I don't know how accurate that is, but I believe when the fall of man happened it must have affected our mental state as well as everything else.

Truth changes over time with our experiences. We are constantly shifting in levels of consciousness and awareness. Our consciousness is fluid and shape-shifts just as water does when it is poured into different containers. As humans we are moldable or pliable like clay (or silly putty if you will). God uses our experiences to shape us. Sometimes we are thrown on the ground, completely flattened. Sometimes we are shaped into a grand, beautiful shape that we wish we could stay in forever. Sometimes we don't change for long periods of time and feel bored. Sometimes change is abominably painful as we are ripped apart and molded back together again into another shape.

Our perception varies with our mental state and our experiences. Perception changes but reality is constant. It's so intriguing to ponder what reality actually is. The only thing we know is what our perception tells us, but what is reality? What does reality look like through God's eyes? It's also interesting to think about what the world looks like through someone else's eyes. We will never fully know what someone else's perception of life looks like but we can still try to understand. When it comes to perception, there are many, many factors that come into play. Our perception is shaped by both nature and nurture. It's shaped by our personality and cognitive functions (nature/genetics), our past experiences and the way we were raised (nurture). Human beings are so complex that it takes not one or two different personality theories to analyze us, but more than 20 different kinds: Meyer's Briggs, Socionics, Enneagram, Big 5, DISC, Hartman personality profile, and many more. We need all of these personality theories because when you take pieces of each and combine them together then you can begin to get the whole picture of a person and understand the complexity of each person's mind and personality. Every person is so unbelievably different and that's incredible when you consider how many billions of people there are. There are not only 16 types of people in the world (as Meyer's Briggs says), but 16 categories of people, in which there are thousands of sub-types, and even more sub-types within those. Each person ends up being so unique that there will never be another person exactly like them, and there has never been another person exactly like them in all of history.

Our perception has a lot to do with our mental state. If our mind is out of balance, it will skew everything else. Brain chemistry affects everything. If our brain chemistry is wrong, correcting it (with medication or other treatment) will correct a lot of other problems. Everything truly stems from our ability to think clearly and make good decisions. This is why mental health is such an important issue. Mental health issues may unfortunately be left untreated if the person is not able to perceive the problem. They may not seek treatment until bad decisions force them into it. I believe others must compassionately step in at times to help those with mental health issues that cannot help themselves.

The human mind is really a miracle. We have multiple levels of consciousness where we are able to think about our own brain functions and think of ways to improve them. This is the definition of true intelligence- to have an awareness of one's own intelligence and be able to analyze and expand upon it. I have come up with all sorts of ways to try to outsmart my own brain to do what I want it to do. I have tried reward systems, delay gratification systems and all kinds of other tricks. I even tried the 5 second rule. Unfortunately, my brain is too smart to be tricked. These things worked for a little while...until they didn't. The one thing that works for me consistently is prayer. I think it's because I'm relying on someone greater than myself. Something else that works to improve the mind is good old fashioned hard work: reading and writing to the point of stretching the brain so far beyond its capacity that it hurts. The brain is a complex type of muscle, but it can be developed like any other muscle.

Sometimes I feel like I've already lived for a thousand years. I've had so many different experiences in my life: some I want to remember forever and many I never want to remember. There have been days that have topped the charts, where I was dancing on the rooftops. There have been days where I literally felt like Job scraping my diseased flesh with a pot shard, and I seriously contemplated jumping off the nearest bridge. I've had many highs and many lows. My life has been stranger than fiction so far, wackier than Pee's Wee's Playhouse on steroids. As hard as it's been at times, at this point I can say I'm glad this is my life and I would never choose to be anyone else. That's unbelievable considering how many times in the past I have uttered the words "I hate my life." and envied how easy life has seemed for others. I have asked many people this same question and they've all said the same thing. When it comes down to it, they would not want to be anyone other than themselves. Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction and that is truer than true.