Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

1 John 4:18

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."

One night I had an epiphany about this verse. I was very, very angry at the time. I had just gone through a breakup and revealed some vulnerable parts to myself to a group and they just didn't understand.  I was embarrassed about the situation that happened to me. I felt humiliated and angry at the people involved.  The day following the incident God brought this part of the verse to my mind: "Perfect love casts out fear" and opened my eyes to what it meant.

It means that through Jesus we can cast out all anger, fear, hurt and bitterness. Jesus died for every sin on the cross including the sins people commit against us and everything we feel they have done to wrong us. It doesn't matter if it is real or imagined, we can picture it all being washed in the blood of Jesus. This was a revelation to me and I found such freedom that evening. I felt like a new person.

The problem was I couldn't continue in perfect love. I lost that feeling of freedom after a few days and went back to being angry and bitter again. What this means is that I cannot do anything without the help of Jesus. I cannot have perfect love, but Jesus can. Therefore, the only way I can cast out fear is being filled with the Holy Spirit, who is perfect love. The only thing I have to focus on and make sure I do is be filled with the Spirit, and certainly not quench or offend Him by sinning.

I think Jesus fully understands the amount of anger and frustration we feel on this planet. I realized I had a major amount of anger and hostility still within me. I felt people would avoid me at times and I just couldn't be nice to the people who care about me. I was treating everyone horribly and I had days where I felt like I hated everyone. This is certainly not perfect love.

What I have realized is that I have come to the end of myself and where I cannot, Jesus can. He showed me I have to get rid of that anger and hostility so I started punching a punching bag and pretend I am punching people I am angry at in the face. This may seem sacrilegious or something but I feel like I am a different person since I began to do this. It has helped me release a lot of my anger. Tears and laughter are also very cleansing for our emotions.

What I have realized is God wants us to fully feel and express our emotions, whatever the emotion may be. We have learned in this world to stuff our feelings and "don't cry", "keep it to yourself","don't be so sensitive", "don't take it personally", "don't feel", "conceal", etc.

We have all been wounded deeply by others, and it isn't right. Whether they realize it or not, people hurt us. They do things, whether intentionally or unintentionally, that are hurtful, harmful and just downright un-explainable. Sometimes people do things that just don't make sense. I am constantly disappointed and let down by people that I expected more from. Then I realize that I let others down often also.

Whether people are sorry or understand how they hurt you or not you can still move past it. Often there will be times when you decide that you do not want to continue on in a relationship with someone, and often you wish with all your heart never to see them again. Of course, in some situations you can't avoid them. I believe God allows certain people to come in our lives to teach us things. It may be how to cope with someone who you cannot escape from. God is constantly teaching us patience and how to love better. Our mission on this earth is to love difficult people in difficult situations. Love God and love others. That's our mission.

Everyone is different, so a difficult person may mean different things to different people. How to love difficult people in difficult situations?

Express your feelings. Punch a punching bag and get rid of all your anger towards the person. This anger must be expressed somehow, and we can't always express it to the person. We have to get to the point where we are truly ready to forgive. Using a punching bag as well as counseling and talk therapy and prayer are the best ways to speed up the process of forgiveness. Also, if you feel led, talk to the person you are angry at (when ready) if you feel that you are ready to continue on in relationship with them.

The perfect love of Jesus casts out all fear and every other ugly and harmful emotion. He is our Healer. Spend lots of time with Jesus and you'll see remarkable healing that can only take place in the presence of our remarkable Savior. Every sin and every ugly thing is washed in the beautiful, priceless, precious blood of our Savior Jesus Christ. It is finished. It is ALL covered in the blood.