Total Surrender

Lately the topic on my heart is surrender. Like a student figuring out a math problem, I have re-worked this problem countless times and keep coming up with the same answer. The answer is- surrender. I will never be happy unless I totally surrender to the will of God for my life. I have tried every other option. Sometimes I think I've found another answer, only to find out the answer of surrender was right all along. So I'm back to living a life of full surrender, feeling truly alive once again. The only time I feel completely secure in my identity is when I'm worshiping God and living for Him with full abandon.

I once heard someone say if it doesn't scare you a little bit then you haven't found your passion. Well, living in full surrender scares me a little bit. It feels unknown, like at any moment everything could come crashing down. It requires total faith. I struggle with knowing just how much faith is wise. Should I step out in faith even if it looks foolish and could have bad consequences? I've found it's best to ask: am I surrendering to God, or my idea of what God wants for my life at the moment? God's will is usually what is. Surrender means not trying to force things to happen now. It means accepting life right where it's at- while still believing for more. We cannot force God's hand by any of our actions, no matter how dramatic or extreme.  We can fully believe for something yet still act in a wise manner. While we wait, we don't have to sit around. Inactivity won't make things happen any faster. Often there's more we need to learn before God's promises take place. The more life experience we get, the closer we get.

Perhaps God has promised something and it hasn't happened yet. Perhaps it seems very far from happening. Not only that, it seems any action taken toward it is blocked. Sometimes it may seem like the harder you try to make something happen the more futile it becomes. I believe this is a test. It means it won't happen until God wants it to. Often during a time of testing God will seem distant. The teacher is always silent during the test. The best thing to do is just surrender and keep on believing. Surrender doesn't mean surrendering your desires; it means resting in Him and believing they will happen in time.

In the mean time, God wants to make sure we want Him more than anything He can give us.

These song lyrics from Natalie Grant beautifully illustrate this:

More Than Anything

I know if you wanted to you could wave your hand
Spare me this heartache and change your plan
And I know any second you could take my pain away
But even if you don't, I pray

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Help me want you Jesus more than anything

You know more than anyone that my flesh is weak
And you know I'd give anything for a remedy
And I'll ask a thousand more times to set me free today
Oh but even if you don't, I pray

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Oh Help me want you Jesus more than anything

When I'm desperate and my hearts overcome
all that I need you've already done
When I'm desperate and my hearts overcome
all that I need you've already done

Oh Jesus Help me want you more than anything

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Help me want you Jesus more than anything